32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
