Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
