Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
