the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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