so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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