I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He is an equal opportunity slut.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
