I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
