Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Let's get the cat blown out
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
