Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
