just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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