it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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