I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
