Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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