i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
