guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
