I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
