How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
