Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
