i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
