He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
