omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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