and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
