i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
