found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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