Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
