the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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