I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
