I'm gonna have a badass scar
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
