his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
