Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
