there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
