He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
