I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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