yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
