Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
