dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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