uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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