it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
