he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
