Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
