Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
