I heard we made out
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
