I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
