Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
