i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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