My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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