We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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