I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
