You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
