He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
